1. My child is too young to talk about sex
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! Sexuality starts at birth. Babies learn from an early age about sexuality by watching their parents and surroundings. Start the conversation early on and keep the conversation going as your child grows. For more information about what is appropriate for different ages, visit www.advocatesforyouth.org/parents. Scroll down the page to the “Growth and Development – What Parents Need to Know” section.
2. We only need to have the “talk” once.
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! It’s great to hear that you might have begun the conversation but be sure to keep the “talk” as an ongoing part of your relationship with your child. As your child develops or enters new social settings, new questions and concerns might come up and you’ll want a chance to talk about that with him/her.
3. My child will learn everything they need to know in school.
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! Depending on your school and the family life curriculum, the amount of information and the accuracy of it may be different then you think. Only 10% of public schools offer medically accurate, comprehensive sex education. Be sure to check with your child’s school to find out about the curriculum and to get a copy of it.
When your child is taking sex education classes in school, talk to them more about it at home. Share with them your values and expectations. Ask them what they are learning and how they feel about it. Open the door to future conversations!
4. If I give information, my child will try it.
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! Studies have already proven that talking with teens about sex and sexuality does not encourage them to experiment with sex. Studies also show that the most sexually active teens, know the least about sexual behavior and responsibility. By talking to your child about sex, it opens the door to future conversations and questions that might come up.
5. My child already knows everything.
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! This may be a risky assumption. There is a lot of false information your child can get from their friends, the media, the Internet, and other adults. You can help your child by providing accurate information. Be honest with your child. Avoid scare tactics by only addressing or by overemphasizing the consequences of sexual activity. Remember that sex is more than just reproduction, intercourse, and pregnancy. Talk with your child about the issues surrounding sex such as relationships, communication, marriage, parenthood, sexual desire, sexuality, love, values, safer sex, intimacy, self-esteem and much more.
6. It’s okay to teach my child to “just say no.”
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! It is a good idea to teach your child that saying no is okay. However there are communication and refusal skills that need to be taught as well. Talk to your child about possible risky situations and how they might avoid them or get out of them. Talk about peer pressure and the media; and how to combat messages that say they should be having sex. Tell them why waiting to have sex is a good idea. Be careful not to shut down the conversation if your child asks about when it’s ok to say yes.
7. My kid never listens to me.
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! Talk, listen, and keep the conversation going. Your child is listening more than you think. Most teens want to talk to you about sex. 87 % of teens say it would be easier for them to postpone sexual activity and avoid teen pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations with their parents.
8. It’s too late; my child is already having sex.
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! It’s never too late to talk to your child about sex. Talk to them about it. Let them know that you are there for them if they have any questions or concerns. Talk to them about contraception and safer sex practices to help avoid teen pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. Try to avoid responding angrily if you find out your son or daughter is having sex. Reacting with emotions or overreacting might shut the door to future conversations about sex.
9. I should tell one thing to my son and something different to my daughter.
Myth?
Fact?
Myth! Sons and daughters need to receive the same messages about sex, love, and relationships. In a national survey, 61% of teens thought that teen boys receive the message that sex and pregnancy are not a big deal. In the same survey, 65% of teens thought that teen girls receive the message that attracting boys and looking sexy is one of the most important things they can do. The consequences of early sexual activity and unprotected sex affect both boys and girls. Share the same values and expectations you have with both your sons and daughters. Mixed messages will often confuse teens.
10. I should be my child’s primary sexuality educator.
Myth?
Fact?
Fact! Your child wants to hear from you! Teens say that parents most influence their decisions about sex not their friends, the media, or their teachers. Teens also say that it would be easier for them to postpone sex and to avoid pregnancy if they were able to have open, honest conversations with you!
